i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
