Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize