so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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