Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
