If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
