She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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