i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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