yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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