Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
