I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
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Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
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I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize