she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
