I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
