That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize