I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
