im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
