I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
