Nicole vs. Life
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
