idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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