hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
