dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
