So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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