So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
