when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She swung at the pinata with crutches
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
