we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
