please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
i think im in europe. pls send help
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize