Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
