I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
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Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
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I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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