thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize