So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
