you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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