I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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