You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
