The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
