hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.