Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive