I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
23 People Confess The Lamest Things They’ve Ever Done To Fit In
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
These 27 Texts Prove Pets Make Better BFFs Than Humans
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard