too bad you live with your parents still
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.