she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive