One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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