Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
