i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Say something about gay babies.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Randomize
