i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize