So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
