I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
