i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
