he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
