So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
