i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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