I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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