she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
