Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
