If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
