So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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