No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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