he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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