No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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