i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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