The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
