Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
