we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
