just come out here and I will go home with you...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
