thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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